Are you, like so many people, carrying around some old emotional baggage from a previous slight, hurt, careless word, unfulfilled promise etc? I am amazed at how long many people like to carry around negative stuff that they can no longer do anything about. It is like they have some unconscious desire to punish themselves over and over and over with negative self-talk. Now I ask you, would you stand in front of your bathroom mirror in the morning and physically slap yourself silly? I mean keep slapping yourself in the face until it is nothing but red welts? Sound crazy? Well, beating yourself up emotionally over and over with whining, complaining, bitching, obsessing and any other word that you can think of, has a far more disastrous impact on your attitudes, self-esteem, psyche, confidence and performance than the physical abuse you could ever inflict on yourself.
Why can’t people just get over it? I don’t know, but here are a few reasons for your consideration:
1. They like to complain. 2. They are looking for sympathy. 3. They feel out of control. 4. They don’t know what to do about it. 5. They feel they deserve the self-abuse. 6. They like the role of being a victim. 7. They like to whine. 8. They don’t have anything else to talk about. 9. They think you are interested. 10. They are so self-centered that they think they have only mentioned it once. 11. They are looking for advice. They won’t take it - but they say they want it. 12. There is nothing else going on in their life.
So, what do you need to let go of? Why do you keep churning it up again and again in your mind or even in your conversation with friends and relatives? Yes, I agree that talking some things out is good therapy. By verbalizing your issues you can get in touch with them and hopefully get past them. I am not talking about that here. I am referring to the insidious and repetitious verbalizing of stuff that happened last year or that you can’t do anything about. I don’t mind hearng it once, or even twice, but dozens of times? Day in and day out? Get over it. Let it go. Move on. Get a life.
Ann Landers once said, “Nobody gets to live life backwards.”
Next time I’m going to explain how to be a validaor. Hope you’ll tune in.
